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Thursday, March 14, 2013

And So, Life Goes On.....


Forgive me but this post is kinda willy nilly all over the place, here goes:

How do you brighten someone's birthday when it is the day her husband is dying?
A cake would be the last thing on one's mind and so were flowers, but my sil brought me 
both. She didn't realize when she came in the door that this would be Roger's last day with us.
yet, I love this woman so much for trying desperately to bring a smile to my face and to try to 
brighten my day. I took several photos of the arrangement a couple of days later. The colors 
were still quite beautiful, her thoughtfulness still fresh on my mind.


There had been one closed tulip and for some reason when it opened it was high 
above all the other flowers. I guess one is always looking for some kind of sign that 
there is one who reaches for heaven in all it's beauty. I don't know, I just don't know.


That same week there was a knock on the door and the delivery person handed me this huge 
potted ivy plant that was sent from my cousin Petra who is a cardiac cath nurse in Texas. I 
put it on the oak plant stand that my husband had made in his wood shop 3 years ago. It 
looked like it was meant just for that plant. 


There were other flower arrangements and I tried to salvage what I could from the 
ones that were wilting. I had 4 other vases of flowers all throughout the house. They 
lasted about a week.


I have been taking my time and trying to get back to normal, whatever that may be.
Life around here has not been normal in a long time and now there is someone missing 
and it just doesn't seem real at times. Then there are times it seems all too real and that 
is when reality strikes and I have my moments. I take time to enjoy the little things, one 
being my grandson Holden. I love my coffee and my favorite mug is the one my girls bought 
 their grandma years ago. When she passed it became mine.


It is kinda ironic isn't it, that for 43 years I had a toaster that only did 2 slices of bread at 
a time. I would do Roger's toast first and then have to do mine last. He would be about half 
done with his meal sometimes before I would sit down to eat. Last December my youngest 
asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I told her a 4 slice toaster. My 2-slice 
toaster would be just what I need now. Should I laugh or should I cry over that one.


I did make an effort to be neighborly and went to see my friend Jeannie. She and 
I became acquainted years ago when she had her yarn shop. She had called me as 
soon as she heard about my husband passing. She lost her husband a year ago last October.
We had a good visit on the phone and she told me she had all kinds of sizes of circular 
knitting needles and for me to come see her and I could pick out all that I wanted. How 
sweet was that! So I didn't want to go empty-handed and I baked up a beef roast and 
pulled it apart, much like pulled pork, then I added a pint of my canned hot banana peppers.


If you have ever grown banana peppers, you know that they usually bear a ton of 
peppers, so many that you don't always know what to do with them. We always 
raised a few plants because I make my own spaghetti sauce, but there is always plenty 
extra. So, like I said, I added the pint and mixed it well into the shredded beef and 
spoon it on hamburger buns and you have a zesty hot beef sandwich. My family always loved 
these and the guys always came back for 2nds and 3rds. 


Here is the recipe:



Then I was at my kitchen sink 2 weeks ago and happened to look out and what did 
I see but this. I ran for my camera. The fox was jumping all over the place and I knew 
he was hunting mice. I think I got a dozen pictures, but won't bore you with but a few, lol.


I have seen deer out there and also in my back yard before we had the 5 foot chain link 
fence installed, but never a fox this close. 


I wish you all could have seen this creature, much like a cat with a mouse. Watching and waiting.


I think he got his dinner.


Then of course in these past weeks I have been having issues with my arthritis and my
hands hurting me, especially my left thumb. So I ran across this old time remedy that I 
saw in one of those ad booklets that Jerry Baker the master gardener is always sending 
in the mail......the gin and raisins remedy.


You take 1 box of Sunkist Golden Raisins and add 2 cups of gin (yes, the booze) and let the 
raisins soak up the gin. It takes about 4-6 days to plump them up. Then you eat just 9 raisins daily, 
but folks, I have been eating 10 or 12 ( not all raisins are the same size) and doing that in the morning and at bedtime. Now people, 
I am not a lush and I am hardly a boozer, and that small amount is kin to soaking a fruitcake in rum or 
what have ya, but honestly you won't get drunk and I honestly think it is helping. My hands feel a 
lot better and I have been doing this about 2 weeks now. You don't have to refrigerate them either, 
they are soaking in alcohol, lol. I do cover them and let them sit on the counter top so 
I remember to take them daily. Remember Paul Harvey, the radio announcer, well supposedly he 
swore by this remedy......someone asked me, "and just what did he die of anyways?" Heck, I 
don't know....old age, maybe, lol. I hope it wasn't from eating too many raisins, lol. I did mention all this to my doctor and he said if it helps then go ahead and eat the raisins.


Lastly I promised in my last post to share a pic of the sweet little angel Debi made and 
sent to me. I love it Debi, and thanks again. I have it lovingly tucked away in The Bible.
My next post I will catch you up on our little Holden's 1st birthday party which we celebrated on 
March 2nd although his actual birthday was Wednesday March 6th. I have not been idle
but doing some deep house cleaning, 
you know the kind where you tear everything out of the closet and wipe 
down walls and rid out what you no longer use or need. In the past 2+ years I have done nothing 
more than give this house a lick and a promise to eventually do a good cleaning. So far I have 
2 closets done. I won't tell you how long it took me to accomplish that much, but it has helped 
keep my mind off of the loss of my spouse. I have also pulled out the crochet thread and made 
4 doilies and now working on a 5th. As soon as that last one is completed and I get busy and 
block and iron them I will post pics. 
I just want to thank you all for standing by me and being such good friends. I know I have 
missed many fun things going on in your blogs. I have tried to keep up with several these
past weeks. I am still working on paperwork, on and off, but there seems to be 
a light at the end of this tunnel, which reminds me I have been reading too. I will share the books 
with you and tell you what I think. In the meantime, may God Bless You All, keep you safe and 
give you comfort and peace.

18 comments:

  1. Susanne, I have though about you SO much! I am sure that you will be feeling up, and then down, and so on, for some time yet!
    Take good care of yourself!!!!
    Big hug!
    Kris

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  2. Hi Susanne. I've been thinking about you and wondering how you've been. When you're feeling low, just think of me giving you a hug.

    The flowers look so pretty, and you're right - the ivy looks perfect sitting on that stand - and the beef and peppers sauce looks delicious. Happy belated Birthday to little Holden. Take care now. :)

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  3. Susanne, I am so glad you posted, I keep you in my thoughts and prayers daily, but just seeing that you have written warms my heart. The days are long, but you are getting a lot done. Spring is almost here and I thin that will help a little bit, just seeing some flowers popping out of the ground will put a smile on your face. Hang in their, you have lost so much, be easy on yourself.
    Sending you a hug,
    Meredith

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  4. A beautiful post,Susanne. Nice to see you're still able to pop in and let us know that you're ok. Thinking of you. Hugs Sue

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  5. Goodness sakes, but blogger is making your post jump around like crazy.. it was very difficult to read, but I wanted to tell you hello and hang in there.. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

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  6. You poor thing. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I hope your friend that last her husband can be a comfort to you. Sometimes there is no one that can quite relate like someone who has gone through the same thing. Blessings to you and you are in my prayers tonight. Will have to remember the raisin thing. Arthritis bothers my hubby at times.

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  7. Susanne, I'm glad you're picking up. You're always in my mind and prayer. Your birthday is unforgetable and mix felt. Wish that will bring you all good memories of a loved one. Enjoy reading your blog and the pretty photos. Keep up my dear.
    Terriea

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  8. Susanne,
    I am so happy to see you are back on your blog. Its good to hear from you again. You are doing very well. There are days I still feel like a ping pong ball. Somehow tho.... We get going again. My mom use to tell me that when life changes drastically, you have to find a new normal. You will. You wont always feel so down and confused. I liked your comment about the toaster. Should you laugh or cry? I would have done both!!! LOL!
    The flowers are gorgeous!! Gerber daisys are my favorite!! I am SO glad you didnt show any peace lilly plants!!! The company I worked for has sent me a peace lilly plant when my mom and dad died, my mother in law and father in law and then Jeff, my husband. About 3 weeks after Jeffs funeral I looked around my house and all I could see where these stupid peace lilly plants !! I had 5 of them!!! I was DONE with having funeral plants in my house. I had one that was almost 20 years old!!! I took each one and threw it in the big garbage can in the garage. My neighbor saw me and she came over and asked me what the heck I was doing!!!???? LOL!!! I told her I was DONE with stupid peace lilly funeral plants in my house!! NO MORE!!! So she grabbed a plant and dumped it right along with me!!! We had a good laugh and cry over me freaking out over this plants!!! I know you understand. Sometimes we just reach a point where enough is enough. I have never regretted throwing those out!!! I despised having all those in my house.
    I laughed outloud when you mentioned cleaning closets. I did the same thing. I was a cleaning fool for about 3-4 months. I read in one of the grief books that the reason widows clean like this is because it helps us feel some control.. We decide what stays and what leaves. I had beautiful closets for about a year!! LOL!!

    Please email me if you want to chat further. Maryjane4930@gmail.com

    You WILL BE ok Susanne. I promise....

    Mary Jane

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  9. Hi Susanne, lovely to see a post from you. I'm sure one day you will find your new normal but it will take time. Great photos of your fox visitor, nature has that happy knack of lifting even the darkest days.
    Carol xx

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  10. Hi Susanne, I found my way here from DebiY's blog. I just wanted to say I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. I will be keeping you in my thoughts.

    April from NE Ohio

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  11. Big hugs from a blogging friend in Utah. Just remember that God loves you and will watch over you.

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  12. Susanne, I'm so sorry to hear of your wonderful husband passing. I came over from Debi's blog where she mentioned you only to read that she too has lost loved ones. So back I will go to leave her a message. Please know that we are all thinking of you xxx

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  13. Hi Sussane, I am sorry to hear about your biggest loss in life. I came to know about you from Debi's blog.
    I lost my father 1.5 years back due to sudden cardiac arrest. He was healthy at the age of 66. Even after these many months I have not been able to come to terms with that shock. I can fully understand what you are going through as I have been close to my mother in such times and see her endure daily yet trying to smile and live for us and her grandchildren. Take care. May your grandchildren create beautiful world around you :) those are the greatest gifts created in this world by you both!

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  14. Hi Sussane, I came over her from Debi's blog. I'm so sorry to hear about the sad news. I know it is a very difficult time for you. But as you have mentioned in one of your posts, life goes on. Please do spend more time with your grandchild. you will feel better. Just think of all the happy days you've had and feel relaxed that your hubby is no longer in pain. Please accept a big hug from me and do keep posting as I'll be waiting for your post notifications in my mailbox.
    Lots of love,
    Ranjitha

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  15. Dear Susanne, it certainly sounds like you are getting lots of support as you mourn the loss of your husband. Keeping busy is always a good thing but quiet moments are beneficial, too. I love banana peppers. Bet your canned ones are really good. Very sweet of you to take a gift to your yarn shop friend. I laughed to read about the gin and raisins. Certainly never heard of that remedy but sounds good to me. :) Take care! Hugs, Tammy

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  16. Dear Susanne,
    I just read about your blog over at Debi'.
    I am so sorry that you lost your husband. I hope you manage to find some things that make you smile every day. Giving you a big hug from Bavaria!

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  17. I was thinking about you today and wanted to stop by and tell you that you are in my prayers still. I'm sending you some sweet hugs and hope you are doing alright! Hugs, your buddy, Diane

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  18. Hello Susanne, I just recently started blogging again, but I did continue looking at other blogs when I wasn't, yours was one of them. I am sorry for your loss. Glad for you that you have your girls and your grandson. :)

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