Saturday, July 20, 2013

Mom's African Flowers, New Books, Thoughts

 I am back in the flower business again. Although nothing makes me happier than to use up bits of leftover yarn, I'm afraid if my friend Barb (in Florida) doesn't soon send that yarn that she promised, I will be going out to purchase more yarn. I will be right back where I started, another batch of leftovers just waiting for the right pattern to come along. A couple of posts back I told you all about my mom's reaction to my African Flower blanket.

I just couldn't turn loose of the first one I made during my husband's treatments. So many memories are attached to that blanket, so much suppressed heartbreak and silent prayers. My sanity was all wrapped up in those stitches, the constant counting to myself, the business of my hands to keep my mind from being in overdrive, knowing that eventually all these trips to the cancer center and what laid beyond would bring me to these days of loneliness and overwhelming grief. I had spent more than half of my life loving my man.

 It is a whole new ballgame, this being a widow. People say, "it will get easier as time goes by." Does that happen when you become 80 years old and forgetful? I don't know. I do know that you don't stop loving someone just because they are gone. True love does not have a switch to turn ON and OFF, and unless you have experienced the very same heartbreak, you have no real idea. The old saying, "walk in my shoes" comes to mind. So many well-meaning people try in their own way to give comfort. I find the real HOPE is FAITH in GOD, that endures when others have forgotten you.

I don't sit around feeling sorry for myself, I have no time for that, I am too busy never quite getting everything done. I can laugh at that because I have always been accused of "being too slow" when I do anything, being the "perfectionist". I look around here and I don't see anything perfect. I seem to run around in circles, like that little hamster in the exercise wheel, always doing, but never getting anywhere.

Regardless of my feelings, I still have the bug to enlighten myself with good books. I have always liked Joyce Meyers, and I watch her program 5 days a week and love her messages about God and His word. I wanted to go to her next speaking engagement in Hershey Pennsylvania, but good luck finding anyone who isn't busy at that time. I bought Paula Deen's newest cookbook. I have loved Paula, her story of how she got started and became successful. It breaks my heart that she is being persecuted for something she said 25 years ago. At least she was honest, and who hasn't said something over their lifetime that they are sorry for or regret? We all have. I was more miffed when she came out as being diabetic and still promoting her recipes that were far from healthy, but Type II diabetes usually hits when we are older and I'm sure she didn't want to be diabetic. She was only cooking the foods that she knew from her Southern upbringing and family traditions. No one holds a gun to our heads and tells us to "eat that (to die for) mac & cheese".

I also purchased many new patterns, honestly, the very last thing I needed because I have a ton already. I mentioned before how my brother would not take any money for working on my tree removal, well I will make him a lovely Aran Afghan and so I searched Ebay and found plenty of patterns. Now I just need to figure out which one to make. I will make his wife one too, only maybe one with a flower motif, in the colors she has decorated with. Winters in Ohio can be cold, we folks use our afghans and blankets.

More indulgences to feed my addiction..........

I have always wanted to do a Christmas tree in crocheted snowflakes. I have a couple of leaflets already, but these new additions will give me more variety if I ever decide to go ahead with this plan. Otherwise, snowflakes always make sweet little gifts when attached to a present. The receiver can always add it to their tree decorations. I am thinking if you block, stiffen and then spray with some fabric adhesive then sprinkle a white glitter, they will sparkle like the real thing. Is there a more breath taking site than the sun or moon shining on fresh and sparkling new snow.

I invested in this pattern book too. I thought it would come in handy when doing something less blah for the edge on a blanket. I seem to rely on the same ole, same old border, well this aught to change that.


I love Country Woman magazine, and use to subscribe to it. I never threw out the older issues, there was always a recipe I planned to try or article I planned to read. The thing is, the company who publishes it still sends me complimentary issues and so the pile grows. It is a good wholesome read, with lots of good things inside it's cover.

As always, I need to get busy and accomplish something so my day is not a waste. Thank you for visiting me. Blogging is an outlet for me. I hesitate at times to write some things, I don't want to bring anyone to the point where they don't want to come back here to visit me. I will say my life has it's ups and downs, good days and bad. Mostly they are good and I refuse to allow the bad days to take over and to become depressed. One last thought.......

I read this on Pinterest the other day and can kick myself for not pinning it.....for some reason I had to read it a couple of times to wrap it around my mind as to the meaning, it kinda caught me off guard:

"She has bite marks on her tongue for all the things she didn't say."  

I find myself thinking this many times in my day. How many times do we keep our mouths shut and bite our tongue because we know what we would say will cause trouble, hard feelings, anger and resentment? Even with our adult children, sometimes it is painful to bite back the words that we want to say, so my prayer,

Lord, help me to keep my mouth shut, or at least put the wisdom in my mind and the right words in my mouth so I can be a bright and shining light to others. Please let me be a blessing in their lives. Amen ♥


  1. looking forward to see what you'll do with the moving hook...:)

  2. Dear Susanne, your African Flowers are looking gooooood! My daughter is here from Ohio.. she's out toodling around in her old neighborhood, she took the girls for sushi. Wow, lots of inspirational books... it will be fun to see what you make. I've made crocheted snowflake ornaments and you would LOVE them. Enjoy your week.. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

  3. Your African Flowers are so pretty...I have wanted to try this pattern for a while now and after seeing how pretty your afghan turned out I am going to be making one soon...I don't know anything about being a widow but will pray that God gives you the strength for the journey...

  4. I love you 'newsy' post, you seem so busy and full of life again. On 'biting my tongue' I always call in 'sucking it up' when I don't say anything and I feel I should. Not good for anyone. The African Flowers are very pretty, Susanne. I can see that they would keep your hands busy but I know your mind would always have been on your hubby at the time. I can't offer any advice but you know I'm thinking of you always. Hugs Sue

  5. Hi Susanne. I love your African flowers - they're always so fun to crochet because of all the color possibilities. I know your Mom will love it. Sending you lots of love and comforting hugs. :)

  6. Hi Susanne. Always love reading your blog with wisdom words and pretty crocheting stuff. A blanket with all the flowers is so warm and touching, particularly with a story of when and why you made it. Thank you for your comments on my recent posts. I normally received via email and comments appear immediately on the comment box under the post. However I've no clue why your comments were not in the boxes that I tried to reply under it. Anyway, I'm so glad for your praises. You mean so special to me. Yes I made quite some wool felt and eco printed stuff. Almost good to run a boutique. Some have gone as giveaways, some are samples for my workshops. Still making for experiments and explore the new design/experiments...... Thanks again for stopping by. Have a good day. Hugs.... Terriea

  7. Susanne, please know you are a blessing in my life. I know you are still having a hard time, of course you are. Grief doesn't dissipate that quickly or ever go away. I think what happens is that is gradually becomes slightly more bearable, but as you say I have never walked in your shoes, I can't even imagine the pain you are feeling. You are keeping busy the right way, with your beautiful Grandson, your family and things you love. I think books and great recipes and crochet projects are perfect. I bought some knitting and crochet books the other day, just so I could sit and enjoy them. If I never make a thing from them that is okay. As for Paula Deen, I agree she has been crucified for things that she did not mean in that context. She said she was sorry and now we should move on, she is being treated worse than others who have done much less. Sending you a hug my friend, and by the way I bite my tongue all the time, I think women do that to keep the peace.

  8. Hi Susanne,
    Your African flowers look great, I have made a few a while back but that was it. I like your blanket its lovely, I bet your Moms will look lovely too. How many flowers did you make for the blanket? All your new books and magazines look like a good read, I like getting new books its just I end up falling asleep reading them :)

    1. Hi Gail, the blanket has a total of 169 flowers. The overall shape of the blanket is a large hexagon. There are 8 motifs on each outer side. I found it easier to lay it all out on a graph paper. If you lay out 15 for the very center and start building the next rows on the top and the bottom the count will be 8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-14-13-12-11-10-9-8.

      If you notice the number 15 is in the very center of the numbers, or another way to explain it is:
      Row 1.....8 motifs
      Row 2.....9 "
      Row 3.....10 "
      Row 4.....11 "
      Row 5.....12 "
      Row 6.....13 "
      Row 7.....14 "
      Row 8......15 "
      Row 9......14 " and keep decreasing each row till you once again have 8 motifs

      Hope this helps. I used a size H (5.00 mm) Bernat crochet hook. I crochet kinda tight and so there is no real gauge that I went by.


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