It isn't easy to pull oneself out of a funk.
Three weeks ago this Monday my husband
received some bad news.
His cancer count is up again, and
the bottom line is that everything he went through
at Cleveland Clinic in December
through February was for absolutely nothing.
He was in a remission of sorts back in December.
His bone marrow biopsy showed he had 2% or less
of the cancer cells present.
He was on a maintenance chemo drug.
It was working good for him, and he was doing well.
Three oncologists were pushing for him
to have the transplant, so naturally we were hopeful.
Believing they knew best, we went with their advice.
There are never any guarantees, we all know that.
No one offered statistics of failure,
and we were so hopeful we neglected to ask,
after all, they were the experts.
Now the game plan is more chemo.
We saw the VA oncologist 2 weeks ago Monday
and will see another this Friday.
That is how fast the wheels of medicine turn.
Weeks of waiting for a progress note from the doctor,
and that paperwork had to be faxed.
It took several phone calls to push it along.
It is hard to be happy anymore.
It is hard to be positive when you feel like nothing is going right.
It is hard to wear a smile when you feel like crying.
But you know you are no good to anyone if you fall apart,
so you wear a smile when inside your heart is breaking.
And you keep yourself positive so that all hope is not lost.
My drug of choice is to keep busy.
Household chores, the tending to all the stuff
needing done for my husband has done that.
The new grandson has been a joy in our lives.
He has been a God sent blessing.
My crocheting and knitting has helped to keep
my mind off of troubles and I can loose myself in the
steady counting of stitches.
My blog friends and their selfless sharing of daily lives
has also been an escape for me.
I read at times of their troubles and
know we all have our crosses to bear.
I do not want to blog about sad stuff
and so I pull myself up out of the troubles and
tell myself to snap out of it.
Surely I can find something to write that might be
of interest to my followers.
And so the slippers.
They aren't too much to look at are they?
That hideous shade of orange rug yarn,
and what remains of a pink bow.
The first time I saw them years ago I was not quite sure
what my mil had in mind.
She had made all of us gals a pair and had sprayed this
rubber stuff from a can on the bottom of them
to prevent slippage and falls.
We all thanked her of course and
off we went with our heavy duty,
Aunt Lydia's Rug Yarn slippers.
Yet looks were deceiving, they fit like a glove and
they were warm, and I LOVED THEM!
I loved them so much that I wore the rubber stuff
off of the bottom with many wearings and many washing.
I wore them thin and then
I loved them so much I wore them out.
I loved them so much I searched
my eyeballs out for the pattern.
Never in a million years did I
dreamed I would be wanting another pair.
I got all of her patterns when she passed away,
yet I never ran across the one for these slippers.
Endless nights of searching the web and I did finally
find something similar on the Bernat web sight.
I had to tweak the pattern a bit to make it like the ones
my mil made all of us.
I had to grab a pencil and paper and start counting
the stitches and rows on my old slippers.
Then I had to use a double strand of knitting worsted
weight yarn because I didn't have any rug yarn handy.
(Do they even make that stuff anymore,
maybe I should have done a search on that too)?
And I whipped up these,
They fit well but something was missing.
I tried using the matching yarn
but wasn't happy with that.
My husband suggested using ribbon, so here they
are with ribbons. I'm not so sure I'm
crazy about the ribbons either.
My last resort will be big ole buttons from my button stash.
And so that is how things are with me right now,
and that is the story behind the new slippers.
I continue to plug away on the hex blanket.
Presently I am not so happy with myself in regards to it.
I think I made it way too long and so now I have
to compensate by making at least another 50 hexes so it will
not look so disproportionate in width.
I don't know where my head was at when I made that
very first row so long, but I am sure it was not on my shoulders.